Today’s blog topic will be broad and covering many topics as I attempt to answer some frequently asked questions we get from you guys! Here we go!
-How do you tell Evie and Scarlett apart?
This is probably the top FAQ without a doubt, and for good reason. By looks alone, you really cant tell them apart. They are so identical even Ashley and I have to take a second to concentrate every once in a while! The key to telling them apart is not really their physical features but their personalities. Physically they are identical, personality are opposites!
Evie is very determined and headstrong. If she’s focused on something, get out of her way because she’ll get the job done no matter what. She’s also the more emotional one, highs and lows. When she cries, it pours. When she laughs you hear it. Evie is a natural born leader. In dance class, you’ll always find her at the front of the class with the instructor. She thinks she’s that good, LOL. Evie also has a deeper raspy voice. She’s very outspoken, and has no problem letting mom and dad know when something goes wrong between the sisters.
Scarlett is more laid back and care-free. She can focus on things, but also doesn’t take anything too seriously. She’s probably the least emotional (tied with Indie). You’ll hear her giggling more than crying. Scarlett also beats to her own drum. She’s a little goofy, loves to be sneaky and enjoys laughing with mom and dad and her sisters. Scarlett also asks more questions than any other child you’ve met. If you tell her something, she’ll follow your statement with a question, or repeat your statement in question form. Its kind of hilarious. She’s very curious and likes to know whats going on around her. Scarlett is the opposite of outspoken and would rather be flying under the radar doing her own thing.
Hopefully these personality tips help you guys out!
-How do you both cope with parenting quadruplets and stay so sane?
This question has been coming in since the beginning, and I thinks its so fun to talk about. Let me see if I can do it justice today!
Each stage of our parenthood journey has come with its own set of joys and trials. The key for us has been to live in the moment, not looking too far down the road. Now we all know we have to have a plan for the future, but what I mean is Ashley and I try to enjoy each chapter on this magical journey because for us, its probably our first and last. There is something special about that for us.
Now, knowing that trials are going to come, we made a game plan in the beginning. We are teammates from beginning to end. No mid-season trades, no injuries, no days off. We do everything together, and we don’t leave each other out in the dark. From day one, we were both hands on with the girls in every aspect. This included diaper changing, feeding, cleaning the house, cooking, planning a date night, scheduling family visits, etc. Today our agendas are somewhat similar but we’ve added running our own businesses and making time for the girls dance classs, church activities, and other added activities. We know each others strengths and weaknesses and we rely on each other to pick up the slack where needed. Everything we do, we do as a team. That has been the most important factor in keeping it together.
The second most important variable has been communication. Simply put, if we don’t communicate everything with each other, we fail. We need to know when each other is tired, hurt, angry, confused, sad, excited, loved, upset, hungry, etc. There are great rewards to being open and honest with your spouse. In our 8 year infertility journey, we worked hard on mastering this characteristic. We haven’t perfected it yet, but we build on it every day.
The last thing I’ll mention on this topic is goals. Ashley and I have the same goals. Knowing what’s at the end of our rainbow makes it so easy to get anything we attempt complete. Whether we’re together or alone, we both know what the end game is, and we stay focused on that goal. This has made parenting so easy as we have very little disagreement on how to raise the girls, or what we’re teaching them. We don’t let outside influences sway our faith or our family. We stay steady and solid moving towards our goals. As we accomplish one by one, we get stronger and more motivated to conquer more. Building upon our successes allows us to overcome our failures.
-How has Tyson handled being outnumbered by the girls?
I love, love, love this question. Plain and simple, I’ve handled it with ease. Not because I’m that amazing, but because these girls are all so amazing to me, Ashley included. People ask if I could do it all over again and pick the outcome, would I pick boys or a mix? I say I wouldn’t change a thing. I love my girls so much, and couldn’t imagine life any other way. Girls are so much fun. The love they show me every day is incredible. They are definitely different than boys, but I think God knew what he was doing when he gave us this blessing. I think my heart needed a little softening, a little patience, and a whole lot of love. I’ve received all of that and more. Ill hang out with the girls over the boys any night of the week!
What has been your hardest trial while parenting?
I’m sure all of you know the answer to this questions changes with each new chapter of life. We all think we’ve just come out of a storm to find another one may be on the horizon. Some trials last longer than others, and sometimes we don’t see any for years. The key for us is once again to live in the moment, and focus on what’s at hand. The Lord is never going to allow us a trial that we cant overcome. That being said, each trial is a learning experience. The Lord also gives us these to learn and grow. We need to know the good and bad so we can see the truth and light in all things. As we’ve come to realize this truth, its made challenges and trials a little more educational. They’re still hard, but we’ve learned to look at the good that comes from them.
-What is like being away from your sister in Canada?
So most of you know, all of our parents, brother and sisters live within a 30 mile radius of us except my sister Denver. She married a Canadian and he took her back home, 12 hours away from us. It is very hard for my family, but also for me personally. Denver was my best friend growing up. We are only a year apart, born in the same month. My mom separated from my dad while she was pregnant with Denver, and soon after divorced. We spent a great amount of our childhood together. There was never just a Tyson or Denver. It was always Tyson and Denver. Looking back on childhood photos, we were always together. Even on up through high school, our best friends were the same friends. I loved so much having Denver as my best friend. She made life so easy, even when we hit rough patches as we all do. Its been hard not seeing her every day like I used to, but I know we all have our responsibilities as we become adults, and hers is to her family now. I wish we did get to see her more often. I pray she moves back here every night!
-What’s the best marriage advice you have to give?
I think we both could answer this 20 different ways, but I know we’d both start with one thing. Making time for each other. Your relationship is just like anything else in this life. In order for it to grow and flourish, it needs time, love, and attention. We try to make time for a date night once a week, just to catch up with each other and make sure our needs are being me. This allows us to be better spouses and definitely better parents to the children. We know that the girls soak up everything in their path, and we definitely want them to see our marriage as a healthy and happy relationship. Once they can look up to and mimic. With that goal in our hands, our priority to make time for each other is a must!
-For fun, if you had to pick what the Quads will be when they grow up, what would it be?
Ok, but just for fun! We know they’re going to change their minds, likes, and personalities a million times before we figure this one out!
Indie- Athlete or Musician- This girl has all the mechanics to do whatever sport she wants. I can also see her playing several instruments.
Esme- Doctor or an Artist- she loves taking care of every one of her sisters and mom and dad. Always the most giving and concerned about everyone else. On the other hand, she excels at art, drawing, painting, and building!
Scarlett- Lawyer – There’s not many debates this girl has lost, including ones with her mom and dad.
Evie- President – This girl has all the confidence and swagger to do whatever she wants, but I think she’d make a great president one day!
That being said, id love to get Ashley’s take and see how our choices measure up. Maybe ill do that in the next blog! LOL
Ok folks, that’s it for today! Hope you all enjoyed this one. I had a lot of fun writing it! For more fun blogs about the Gardner Family, check these out below!
Also, here’s one of my favorite vlogs from our Youtube channel! Enjoy!