You guys have been inspirational with your feedback on these blogs! I hope you’re enjoying them as much as I’m enjoying writing them! Todays topic is parenting. These questions came from your responses on our Instagram post. Hope you enjoy!
-Do you guys feel that you are good parents?
I think this is one of those questions meant to catch anyone in a trap. If you say yes, people want to point out your faults. If you say no, people wonder why? I can say that we try our hardest to give our children everything we didn’t have and more. Our focus as parents is make sure our children are loved firstly, educated, sheltered, and fed. Obviously those are the basics and we branch out from there, but our job first and foremost is to make sure our children’s needs are met. That being said, we’re not perfect. We work hard every day not to screw up. Most days, struggle with trials just like any other parent, but we learn from them. God has a funny way of teaching us parents lessons. Children are so vitally important to that education I feel. I can say this without hesitation; we love our children more than anything else in this life. That usually starts us off in the right direction in the morning.
-How do you deal with disagreements in parenting? How do you compromise?
Great question! I feel like every parent has experienced this situation, probably daily! The truth of the matter is that Ashley and I come from different backgrounds. We were taught different ways of doing the same things. Although we have much in common, we do a lot differently in our day to day actions. We figured this out early in our marriage as we were trying to survive living with each other, LOL. Parenting is no different. As situations come up, we discuss them and put our ideas on the table. We then discuss what will be best for the children, pros and cons, economics, etc. Big decisions take more time than smaller ones, but we usually talk it over with each other before we pull the trigger. Disagreements do come, and honestly, most of the time, one of us looks to be compromising more than the other. But in the long run, I feel it evens out, and once again, we always do what’s best for the girls. The key for us has been to understand that its not about who’s right, its about what’s right. We all have “our way” of doing things. We like to be comfortable. Nobody likes doing things different from how they understand, but I’ve found when I do venture out on that limb a bit, I tend to find a lot that I never knew existed. I guess its about opening up, allowing some trial and error play out, and being willing to admit that “our way” is not always the only way. I hope that answered that question. I really don’t what I just said there.
-What made you choose IVF over Adoption?
We’d been dealing with infertility for 8 years, so honestly we’d discussed many options. Both of these were discussed in detail. We actually had our adoption papers at the house, and I was working on them at the time we decided to give IVF a try. After much discussion and prayer, we both felt that we needed to give IVF at least one try. If it didn’t work, we were happy to pursue adoption. We just wanted to exhaust all our options at having our own biological children. If that option exhausted itself, we were moving to adoption. Keep in mind both of these processes are grueling and expensive. IVF was not covered by our insurance, so we knew which ever one we did first, the other was going to have to wait for another couple of years so we could save up again. So many hours of prayer, discussion with family, and constant talks with each other went into this decision. Ashley was actually the one to say out loud first that we needed to give IVF one try. I agreed. The rest is history as you know.
-How much do you incorporate your faith into your parenting?
100% all the time. We are nothing without our faith. Our faith has given us everything we have and made us who we are. Our relationship was built on faith, and family was as well. Our faith has given us strength to overcome our trials and endure. Our parenting style is heavily influenced by our faith as is our entire lifestyle.
Who is the strictest parent?
This is a good one, and one we should probably have both of our answers on. That being said, im writing the blog and Ashley isn’t, so you get my opinion. LOL. Honestly it really depends on the topic at hand. If its keeping the house clean and the laundry done, Im definitely the strictest parent. If its about following house rules, and following through with structure for the girls, Ashley is definitely in charge. We both can be hard on certain issues, and i’m sure that stems from our upbringing. I think at the same time, we can both be very laid back about just as many variables. The great thing is we usually even each other out and keep the entire house sane. I think its so good that we have a balance. It shows the children that they cant always push one or the other over. Keeps them guessing. Ha ha ha.
-How do you make time for your girls? Especially with your jobs and vlogging?
I’m sure we do what most other parents out there do and prioritize and schedule our time. That being said, we have been very blessed to be able to do all of our jobs from home and be here to take care of the children together. We are very scheduled when it comes to the girls. They come first. Obviously each stage with them has changed the way we do things. In the beginning, we worked when they slept; it was the only way. Now they don’t take naps, and we need sleep at night, so we work in shifts and around the nanny’s schedule. Our days now look different day-to-day. They’re still scheduled, just not at the same times. We have to work with what we’ve got. The girls come number one though. We try and spend as much time with them as we can. God has given us this incredible blessing to be able to be with them and teach them and we would be fools not to take advantage of that. We’ve found that as we’ve done what he’s asked us to do, everything else falls into place. It just always does.
-At what age will they be allowed to have boyfriends?
-Which stage has been your favorite? Which the most challenging?
I think every stage comes with these ups and downs. There’s always something special that you take away from the chapters, and usually something you don’t want to deal with again. That’s what life is all about. Taking in everything, and finding what you really enjoy and hanging on to it. The girls change so fast, its hard to get comfortable in one place. With that thought, I can tell you that we both have very fond and favorite memories of each year of the girls lives. For me, the birth of course. What a spiritual moment. I truly saw Gods face that day. Their first smile. Melted my heart. Still does just thinking about it. Their personalities. This is probably in the top 3 for me so far. It has been just magical watching their little personalities grown, and seeing how truly different each one of them is. They came with their own little spirits, and we’re just trying to keep up. Their relationship with each other. This is so special for me. I grew up with many siblings and loved every minute of it. I know they’ll have those special bonds I did too. Makes my heart happy that they’ll always have each other.
As far as challenging goes, there’s a few things I could do without. Potty training. The flu. Making bottles in the middle of the night. Diaper blowouts. Fighting over the same toy. Baby-proofing. That being said, I learned so much from all of these little trials, I probably needed them in my life!
You guys had so many wonderful questions on this topic, I may have to do another one on this! Thank you again for all the love and support! The feedback has been so great!
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