February 28th 2015 was a day I had been waiting for months! I just didn’t know it!
The last 8 days had been the longest 8 days of my life because during that time I didn’t know it would only be 8 days. I thought we had weeks to go before my little Indie Pie would join her sisters at home. Every day they were separated was so so hard! Not only emotionally but physically on Tyson and I. We had 3 babies home on oxygen and monitors and on a 3 hour feeding schedule, and then one at the hospital all alone! My heart felt like it was torn apart every single day they weren’t all together.
Read this blog post from when we took all 4 to their first Doctor appointment here.
Everyone would try to make me feel better by saying ‘well at least it’s easier now then when you will have all 4 home!’ They could not have been more wrong. Try have 3 preemie babies at home and then trying your best to make it down to the hospital every day to spend quality time with Indie but being back in time to help with the next feeding for the ones at home. It was so hard and I needed to be in two places at once but I couldn’t, and poor Indie was the one who was getting the short end of the stick. I mean, she had nurses and doctors to help her and we just had us at home with the 3! That didn’t make my guilt go away. I felt terrible every single day.
It had been about a six days since my sweet baby was left in the hospital without her sisters and I hadn’t been doing skin to skin time with Indie because I was in such a rush every time I was there. I felt major guilt over that because she needed it. But I was spread so thin at the time I could hardly function.
She was actually not doing as well as she had been when her sisters were there. It like she was being competitive when there were there trying to beat them home and when they ‘won’ the race she kinda gave up. Mom and dad weren’t there as much as we had been because we could be and she was feeling it.
On the 6th day I waited and went down to the hospital at around 8pm. Family had come over to help Tyson with the girls and he told me to stay as long as I wanted. When I walked in the nurse told me she wasn’t taking her feedings well anymore and they were having to give them to her again in her feeding tube. My heart sunk. I felt like the worst mother ever. This baby needed me more and I wasn’t there. I immediately stripped my shirt of and grabbed her for skin to skin time. I had this overwhelming feeling that is what she needed. I didn’t know why I felt that way but I listened to that feeling and gave her all I had! I held her for 4 straight hours skin to skin.
At midnight the nurse let me give her a bath which was her favorite. And I snuggled her till her next feeding time at 2 am where she actually did much better eating!
I left my shirt on her bed, another feeling I had to do and not a clue why. I had read somewhere to let your baby sleep with something you had worn all night so they could smell you. I didn’t know if this was true but I was willing to do anything for my girl. I put it on her bed kinda like a bed sheet, tucked it in on all the sides, placed her on top of it and tucked her in. I put my jacket on and tightened it up and headed home for the night!
When I got home Tyson was wondering what happened to my shirt. Hahaha I had to tell him that I just had a feeling to leave it there with her so I did. He didn’t question me just said ‘ok, you’re the mama and you know best!’
The very next day I woke up and played with my girls at home for a few house and my parents had seen just how hard this was on me so they came over and said ‘we are here to watch the girls, BOTH of you get out of here and go spend some time with Indie. We were both super excited to get down there and see her. It wouldn’t be till about noon that we finally made it to the hospital.
When we walked in the Neonatologist was standing by Indie which was a normal thing to us at this point. He handed me Indie and said the words I had been waiting to hear for so long, ‘Guess who is coming home tomorrow?!’ I literally started crying! I had never been so excited in all my life! My 4 babies would finally be back together again in our own home this time, exactly where they should be!
Read this blog post from Tyson last year during our 8 day wait to get Indie home here.
He said he didn’t know what changed but all through the night and all morning long she took every single feeding perfectly on her own, but I knew what happened. I know with all my heart that skin to skin made a world of difference in babies and my shirt maybe made her feel like I was there with her all night when I couldn’t be. She could smell her mama and knew she was loved and safe.
We immediately took this picture and posted it for everyone on our page who had been praying for her to get strong quickly and let them know she was coming home the next day….
That night I could hardly sleep, and it wasn’t because I had 3 screaming babies keeping me up hahaha. We had some family come over to watch the three while Tyson and I went down to the hospital to pick up Indie. The discharge process takes some time but we were out of there by 3pm, but not before saying a very tearful goodbye to all the nursing staff and doctors! If was such a sweet experience to know all these amazing men and women who do so much to save these babies lives. They have become part of our family and we will love them forever!
Bringing her home and joining her with her sisters was such a beautiful experience. I finally felt whole again, my family was complete and under one roof, MY roof!!!
I know it was no coincidence that I had those feeling to do skin to skin and leave my shirt behind. I know God was answering my prayers and he was whispering to me the things I needed to do to make it all happen. I’m so thankful I listened to that still small voice and that we would get our last one home shortly after that!
The NICU was such a scary experience with many ups and downs. We are so grateful that part of our journey is complete and we are so thankful for that experience in our lives, it taught us so many lessons but we are glad it’s OVER!
Now that we are complete we have so many memories ahead of us to spend with these girls and I cannot wait to show them the world!
Who would have thought this would be us one year later…..