As I was looking on my time hop today I had posted this picture 4 years ago today. At the time I didn’t know if he was ever going to answer my prayers. I didn’t know what part of this saying was for me yet. Now looking back it was all of it! He was always answering my prayers. He was giving me little blessings at the time to keep me going even when I was too mad to see them. He was delaying to increase my patience because he know what lies ahead for me. And he wasn’t answering my prayers because he had something far better ahead for me than I would ever know!
I never once prayed for quadruplets. It wasn’t even a thought in my mind. I prayed for just one! All I wanted was just a baby to love and hold. He knew he was sending me 4 at once and I would need the patience and the desire to get through it. I needed to want a baby so bad that I would do anything and I would really appreciate having 4 at once. It isn’t easy to have 4 at one time but it is soooo worth it. I think because we had to wait so long that everything we do every day is wonderful and great. We really appreciate and love having 4 at once and we wouldn’t change it for the world.
Having these quadruplet baby girls was my calling in this life. It was somethings I was destined to do and looking back now if my prayers would have been answered in the beginning when we had only been married one year and I was 20 years old I don’t think I would have handled it so well. It would have been a trial and probably a burden on us. Who knows where we would have ended up.
God knows best. He know what we need in this life to learn to get us to the next part of our life. He places trials in our lives as tests. We can either learn and grow and stretch through them or be can let it break us. Sometimes we do both. But it’s how we let it define us that makes us who we are. Are we bitter or are we better from our trials. I can honestly say that I am so grateful for the trials in my life. The 8 long year long trial of infertility in my life not only prepared me for being the mother of quadruplets but for so many other things in my life and I wouldn’t trade it in for anything. I have learned more love and more compassion for other. I have had opportunities to help others that if I wouldn’t have gone through this trial I wouldn’t have been able to help.
This trial has made me who I am today. We go through trials to make us better. At the time I thought ‘why me?’ ‘What good is this teaching me?’ ‘What could you possibly want me to learn from this?’ It wouldn’t be till after the storm of my trial had passed that I was able to pull the good from it all. Did it totally suck? YES! More than anything. I felt lost and alone and hopeless. But who am I today because I have been at the bottom is far better than having an easy path out. If I had to go back to the beginning and I could choose what path to take the easy way or the hard way I would choose the hard way every time because by enduring the hard part I would get this everytime…
I know what it is like. I’ve been where you are and I probably will be there again. Trials keep coming in our lives and although I will never go through the infertility trial again I know God has others in store for me to help me grow even more and experience life from another perspective. Raising quadruplets is such a joy but also a trial in itself. It’s not easy and my body hurts so bad. But think of how much patience I’m learning through all this!
Everything that happened to us happens for a reason. We just have to find out what that reason is. We all have a purpose here on earth to fulfill and we are being shaped into people to better fulfill that calling.
You can and will get through this. You choose how it affects you. You are in control of you. Choose to be happy today and choose to learn from this crazy life and become better not bitter. Bitter never gets you anywhere-trust me I’ve tried it!
My all time favorite quote that got me through the darkest of days-