Just a few observations I’ve made over the last few months that I wanted to share with all of you! Being the only man in a house full of women is no easy task! You have to be up for the challenge daily physically, emotionally, and mentally! Let me know what you think of my observations!
- Women are Full of Emotions- If you’re a man living with a woman and you don’t know how to show your emotions, let alone read a woman’s emotions, you might as well pack your bags right now! This one element is so key in your relationship as a husband and I know without a doubt it will be as a Father as well! This is also very hard for a lot of men, as they are not used to showing their emotions. I do not know why this is, I’m sure many variables come into play, but I do know how important it is. Men should never be ashamed of showing or telling how they feel. This only leads to better communication in relationships and better empathy and understanding.
- Laundry Better Be Your Second Language- If you don’t know it now, women love clothing! They love to shop for it, wear it, hold it, look at it, and think about it. There’s blouses, pants, leggings, scarves, hats, socks, undergarments, sweaters, undershirts, gloves, etc. What I’ve learned since being married is women also love to layer clothing. As a man, this was so confusing to me in the beginning, as I was always hot and trying to wear as little items as possible. Completely opposite for women, especially in the winter. Its all about the look, and fashion is a serious thing. With all this clothing, you can imagine what the hamper looks like at the end of the day. Multiply that times 5 and you’ll be where I’m at right now; holding a laundry basket and reading instructions on the Tide bottle.
- Touch- Women need touch, and in completely different ways than men. Over 11 years of marriage, I’ve learned that to fill up Ashley’s emotional bank, she needs to be touched, in her way. That means holding her, tickling her back, massaging her feet, playing with her hair, etc. As a man, I never thought of things initially, because I didn’t need them. You can imagine what the first few months of our marriage looked like, LOL. Confusion and Frustration! In time though, I’ve learned that women need different things than men, and you need to be in tune or the couch will become your best friend! Already I’ve seen in my 4 girls a difference in what they prefer. Some want to be held and cuddled, some want praise, some want to roam free; but the key is they all have different needs, and as a father, I better know what those needs are so when they come to me, I’m ready to go!
- Communication- This topic is probably one of the most important, and sadly one of the most overlooked in marriage. Learning to communicate with each other on all levels is vital to a happy marriage. I’m sure this plays that same with leading to a happy relationship with your kids. Over 11 years of marriage, I’ve learned through my struggles how truly important communication is. As I’ve opened myself up and become totally honest with my spouse, she has done the same for me, and there is no guessing. We’ve grown to know each other inside and out, and this has only enhanced our marriage and the way we parent our children. Knowing what makes your spouse happy, and then acting on that knowledge can only have a positive affect on your relationship. I know this to be true. I plan to do the same with my children, and hope in return they will do the same with me! This is a continuing, living, breathing action. As long as you are exercising and using it, then it will continue to live and breathe and work in your favor.
- Men Don’t Know Everything- It’s ok to ask questions. Women appreciate you genuinely trying to figure out what they need or want as opposed to walking around in the dark trying to find something with no direction. This is hard for men, as they don’t like to ask for help. This all goes back to the communication topic I hit on, which is so important. Being interested in what they want only leads to more happiness for you as a Husband and Father. I know this from experience. As you genuinely learn about your spouse and children, they know and feel of your love, empathy, and compassion for them. I believe this is in turn is reciprocated, because as they are filled with these emotions, they only want to share them in return. Win/Win!
- Example- This one is huge to me, and also one that I’ve had to work very hard on over the years. I’m far from perfect, but that doesn’t stop me from striving for perfection. One of the greatest blessings I’ve had in this life has been my trials. Some people hear this and think I’m crazy, but I promise you they only make you a better person. Over 11 years of marriage, I’ve strived to be a person that Ashley could love and respect. Someone she could trust, and always know would do the right thing. The truth is, that hasn’t always been the case, and I’ve had to learn for myself some very hard lessons. The good news is that those lessons opened my eyes and taught me things I couldn’t have learned without them. In turn I’ve become a better person, and husband to my sweet wife. As a husband and now Father, I know just how truly important my role is in home. What my wife and children see me do affects them in so many ways. What I choose to do is tied to them. What I choose to say affects them. Where I choose to go influences them. Its not hard to see where this logic goes. I’m just grateful I have the opportunity to be an example to 5 perfect girls that my Father in Heaven has blessed me with in my life. Although my past is not perfect, my future is bright. I want that for my wife and daughters, and that starts with my example.
- Love- Growing up, this word was hard for me to understand. It was not said a lot in my home. Although I know now how much my parents loved me, they just didn’t know how to say it as often as I think spouses and children need to hear it. It also needs to be shown daily. This resonates with those you share it with, I promise you. When you love your wife or children, how do you show them? Do your words show them love? Do your actions show them love? When they hear your name, do they think of love? I’ve come to the knowledge that everything I do and say has an affect on those around me. I am not perfect, and know I never will be, but that doesn’t stop me from trying. My goal is to let those around me, especially my wife and daughters know that I truly love them and will always be here for them. I think if I can show them this consistently, I will have accomplished a great goal, and shown my Father in Heaven that he made the right choice blessing me with them.
Honestly, these tips are mostly for my own benefit. I hope that as I read them over and over again, I am reminded of what my girls need and that I am continually preparing myself to give them what they need. That being said, I hope you enjoyed these few thoughts I’ve had to share! I love and appreciate you all, and all you do for my family daily by your love and examples!