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True feeling of an emotional MoM!

 

As a mother we are constantly giving our all. Every ounce of energy and emotion to make sure everyone in our lives have everything that they physically need. We usually don’t stop to realize that we need to take care of us too. We also have needs that need to be met and we selflessly put them behind us for others. That is what being a mother is all about right?

Imagine a world where we were able to better take care of everyone around us because we have taken care of US! I know that to be the best mom I can be I need to do things for myself. Whether it is taking a nap or going to get a massage occasionally or even just going grocery shopping all alone and taking the long way home. Fact of the matter is that we all need a break, one kid or 12 kids it doesn’t matter. We all can only give so much before we break.

This last week I have had this happen to me. I have been about to break and I just felt as if I was drowning and no one was able to throw me a life preserver. Every ounce of my emotion went Sunday night with Scarlett’s accident. I gave all I had to try and be the very best mom I could for her that day and the days following that I constantly felt like I was falling short with my other 3 girls. I felt that Scarlett needed us and we had to protect her from the other girls curiosity of what was on her hand. I felt so high strung and like I was failing at everything else in  my life. We had ran a huge sale in our shop that weekend and received a ton of orders which was amazing. We were so grateful for those orders so we could pay for the medical expenses from this last week. But I knew we had so much work weighing over our shoulder not only with our shop but we also Vlog for a living and blog which is also very time consuming.

In the past we have always been able to rely on family to come and help out but this week it just wasn’t able to work out that way and we were on our own with all these balls flying in the air and hoping we could catch them all on the other end.

Have you ever felt like life is just too much someday. Too much to handle and deal with. So much going on that you feel so overwhelmed that you want to crawl into a hole and hide for a few day? But you can’t right? Life still must go on. Things still have to be done and you must keep pushing forward.

Yesterday was a very tough day for me. From sun up to sun down the girls were, to put it nicely, A NIGHTMARE! They usually are so mellow and play so well together but not yesterday. Yesterday they figured out “Oh WOW! Look we can just simply move all these barricades that our parents have so nicely put up to keep us from things we shouldn’t get into.” And they did! and they worked at a TEAM! One had pushed the bench out of her way and was heading up the stairs and another learned all the sudden that she can climb up on the kitchen chairs now and started throwing things on the floor which in turn hit her other sister in the face with a book who was now crying and the last sister moved the chairs we have in place to keep them out of our works stuff (ie: bags, printer and product) and there was stuff all over the floor.

I was trying to console the one who was crying from being pelted in the face by a book and took the girl off the chair who hit her. I run over to the stairs to get that child so she doesn’t fall down all while Indie pulled my purse down from the counter and it was scattered all over the place!

Are you tired yet? Because I am tired all over again just from writing this! haha

They whined and cried and screamed and got into everything all. day. long.

When it was time for bed they just screamed. We couldn’t get them settled down for the longest time and we were spend but also had about 250 more orders to get out. We knew we were in for the long haul.

All the sudden it was quiet for the first time all day. They were finally all asleep. I have never cherished quiet as much as I did last night. Tyson and I sat up till almost midnight packaging orders in SILENCE. We didn’t even want to talk to each other. haha It was just that kind of day.

Most of you know that we are very positive people and we always try to find the bright side of things and put a smile on our faces. But I think it is important that everyone knows that it isn’t all sunshine and roses over here. We have bad days just like you guys do. Yesterday was the day that I looked at Tyson and said “I have to leave or I’m going to lose it!” I’m so blessed to have him here with me so that we can do that for each other. I just left and walked around the grocery store. I bought things we didn’t really need and I didn’t talk to anyone. I enjoyed a minute where no one was screaming and no one was touching me, and I took the long way home.

I think we all have days like this. Its totally normal to feel these feelings. Its so important to recognize that we need a break and then allow ourselves to have it no guilt attached. We deserve it and we should all support each other in motherhood. Truth is….ITS HARD! No one is perfect and quite honestly we truly are all doing our best. Its never ok to criticize another mother for what they do. We all do what we need to do to survive. And honestly some night when all the girls are in bed I am just happy we all made it out alive. haha

To the mama who has the days like I did yesterday, It gets better. I promise. You wake up the next morning and ask the Lord for some help and strength and he will provide you will it. Because tomorrow you will wake up and see that big smiling face smiling at you  and you will know that its all worth it. You need them just as much as they need you. Good or bad! You got this! You’re doing amazing! Keep doing what your doing. If you fall short in one area one day you will make up for it the next. We aren’t perfect and our children don’t expect us to be. We just need to be the best version of ourselves that we can be and that is good enough.

You are loved, you are perfectly flawed and you are doing amazing. Keep up the good work.

-Quad Mama

Previous blog you may have missed

https://gardnerquadsquad.com/backyard-water-party/

https://gardnerquadsquad.com/first-trip-to-the-er/

https://gardnerquadsquad.com/a-little-18-month-update-on-the-girls-personalities/

https://gardnerquadsquad.com/3-years-ago-today-my-first-failed-iui/