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When you're down and out….

   4 years ago today I posted this status-isn’t time hop an amazing app? It’s one of my favs!  

The post of me posting this blog is because I’ve been there….HEY! YOU! READING THIS BLOG and wondering when your prayers will be answered….I’ve been there.  4 years ago I was at a time in my life where I needed to be sad. Something I want all of you to know is that no matter what you are going through at this time that you have to give yourself permission to just be sad for a minute. It’s so healing as long as you pick yourself back up and try again when you’re done.     I remember feeling like if I let myself be sad for just a minute then I was ‘giving up’. That was not the case. Letting yourself really FEEL what you are feeling and letting those emotions out is how our bodies process. Being ‘positive’ 100% of the time isn’t possible.  My mom use to say when I was growing up ‘crying doesn’t help anything!’ -Sorry mom- you were wrong! Hahah (really though- sorry mom- love you)     Sometimes life is just TOO MUCH! And nothing makes it better except to just cry and let it all out- ya know, the real life ugly cry! The Kim Kardashian kind of cry. The one no one needs to see. That kind of crying releases all the built up pressure and stress and really does something to you.     After a good long cry- sometimes 20 minutes and sometimes 4 hours, I could stop, take a deep breath, and pull myself together again.  You need to let yourself breakdown so you can learn the lesson of picking yourself up again. As hard as those times were for me I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I would do them all over again so that I could turn out to be the person I am today. I am stronger, and wiser and more compassionate than I ever would have been had I not experienced rock bottom.     Honestly guys, life really just does suck sometimes. Yes, my trial with infertility is over- for now. But I have new trials, different things I now face in my life every day and I’ll get through those as they come. 

People fascinate me. I will totally admit to being a ‘people watcher’- I look at people now and wonder ‘what is their story?’ ‘What are their trials in this life that make them who they are?’ If it wasn’t creepy I would walk up to random people every day and ask them to just tell me about them!     We are stronger than we think and God knows our breaking point. I truly do believe that God DOES give you more than you can handle at times. Sometimes hitting rock bottom is what we need to really learn to lean on the one person that can help. Him!     So when you feel like you’re about to have a breakdown- DO IT! I give you permission to feel the way you feel. Those feelings are very real. Just make sure you get back up and push forward towards something. Sometimes after you’re done crying you won’t be pushing forward in the same direction. But as long as you’re going towards something that’s great!  You are doing amazing. You are perfect the way you are. You are doing the best you can. You ARE enough.  God hears your prayers. He does answer them. I posted this status 4 years ago today and I still had a 4 more years to go before I would get my answer. But I made it and so can you. Your outcome may be different than mine and that’s ok. Your answer will most likely be different than mine and that’s ok. You will make it!     -Ashley

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